Pray More

J.M.J

I do not know if it is somewhere in between a misguided Catholic education or a laziness of heart, but it seems to me that somehow we can fall into the realm of thinking prayer is something we are only doing for God. I certainly was not raised with the misconception of the power of prayer or without the understanding that prayer life was important, however what was lacking in my life was the understanding that prayer is needed all the more when we feel life has no time or room for it, that suffering is an act that can bring us ever closer to God, and most of all prayer really is God’s gift to us.
I have experienced repeatedly God’s way of using the deepest heartaches in life to bring me to my knees and ever closer to Himself, most of the time in the midst of fear, tragedy, and abandonment. I never would have thought that in the midst of shear emotional and physical exhaustion, that God would be calling my husband Michael and I to pray even more than we had been daily. Morning and Evening prayer, Mass, Lectio divina, and the Rosary seemed to us to be a full and sustaining prayer life. Especially after the birth of our Son Michael Mario, who was an extremely high needs and allergic infant, we could not understand why after his arrival everything around our family began to fall apart and seemed to be trying to pull us down with it. Serious situations befell us such as mentally and physically ill family members in crisis, difficult extended family relationships causing division, difficult living arrangements and a need to move immediately with many obstacles in the way, including a job change for Michael, and even the death of our 2 year old family dog Bendito to Leukemia which came on as fast as it took him from us. We could hardly believe the little dog was gone in a month’s time leaving us again aware of how our lives were not in our control but in God’s.
I had always relied on prayer for strength and grace as a teenager into young adulthood. It was the mercy of God and uniting my suffering with Jesus on the cross that I always felt was my stronghold. Watching and caring for my mother who suffered a prolonged battle with cancer gave this gift to me. As she decreased I watched her prayer life and faith increase. Like John the Baptist who said “He must increase; I must decrease” (Jn 3: 30). Through our suffering and it’s example to others we can bring glory to God! We can learn when we enter into conversation with our Lord through prayer, especially partaking in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass as well as adoring Him in the Most Blessed Sacrament; it is there we obtain the grace and strength to be faithful in living out His Most Holy Will for us, as difficult as it may seem at the time.
In a secularized world we are often fed the message to do whatever makes us most comfortable. Therapists are often quoted as saying phrases like “whatever you need to do…or whatever feels right for you.” Don’t get me wrong, I am an advocate for therapy and feel it is an important tool to help both psychological illness as well as emotional health; however I do believe our society as a whole perverts the beauty of sacrifice suffering can bring. Sometimes doing what we feel we need or makes us comfortable is not the right thing. Sometimes so God and others can increase we need to decrease. Complete surrender of will and trust in God is a lesson I am learning through God’s grace and the power of prayer especially in the midst of chaos. I have learned that suffering is a part of life that we must endure for our soul, only God knows why. I have found peace in trusting that.
The messages our secularized world tries to feed us can feel overwhelming, but those very messages cannot stand true next to Truth Himself, which is our Eucharistic Lord. Only He feeds us with the true Bread of Life. Only in surrender to His powerful love can we find wholeness and the purpose of our very being. I will never understand the mind of God and I must be honest in saying I have wasted too much time trying to figure that out, however I am very aware that acceptance of His Will in my life and a need to pray all the more during the difficult struggles is now what I am sure of. It becomes clear through faith opened eyes that unrest of the soul stems from a message which depicts suffering as evil. It could not be more far from the truth. It is beautiful when viewed through the eyes of God the Father who gave His only Son so that we might live. It is beautiful when viewed through the eyes of Mary, our Blessed Mother, as she stood by the foot of the cross offering her Son and her own emotional suffering in response to God’s will for the redemption of the world. And it is most beautiful when viewed through the eyes of Jesus. “Christ became obedient unto death, even death on a cross ” (Philippians 2:8) out of His great love for each and every one of us who are but sinners and often fall and reject His love. Jesus who is God did not equate Himself on earth with His Father; rather He humbled Himself through enduring human suffering and being obedient to His Father’s Will. What appeared to be or look like the ultimate evil, God so gloriously used to bring us eternal life through the Resurrection of Jesus Christ! Yet the world struggles to see through the darkness in which we live the beauty that suffering can bring. It is not surprising that the most sacred and profound of all which we can partake in this life endures serious attack. If you call to mind the things which are most beautiful and holy like the True Presence of the Eucharist, the sanctity of human life, the dignity of the human person, the family, and the Church it becomes clear that the devil is working overtime, especially so when it comes to the act that models and unites us to Christ on the Cross.


Sitting before the Blessed Sacrament in prayer I allow my fears and worries to be laid at Jesus’ feet. Worries that my son, who is on my husband’s watch until it is my turn to walk him, will never make it home happy in the car seat fade away. Fears that my loved ones health and safety as well as my own are not in my control seem to dissipate. And I am left alone with Him in the peace and security of His love and mercy. I understand and know why He is calling me to Himself to pray in the midst of a world which promises are counterfeit and empty. I know that in the midst of all we are facing in this world and as a family, God is calling us to pray more and receive our strength to endure every suffering from Him. Adoring the True Presence of our Lord in the Most Holy and Blessed Sacrament, thoughts of my mother who I believe is in heaven now, come to my mind. I thank God for the gift I have received and I imagine if she could speak to me now what she would be saying along with our Eucharistic Lord is so very simple….. Pray More.